Resentment

To be resentful

What does that really mean?

“Resentment is the number one offender”

 

A good friend of mine recently described resentment as “the inability to deal with and properly process the emotions that occur during certain situations…. Instead of formulating a response and dealing with the situations as and when they occur, we bottle up the feelings and emotions felt and replay or relive the incident during morbid reflection.”

You may be thinking what the hell am I going on about but let me explain

Have you ever perceived that somebody has done something wrong to you? Maybe said or did something to make you feel angry, scared or any one in the vast range of negative emotions that we feel as humans, resentment is not only dependant upon you feeling angry at a situation though usually anger plays a MASSIVE part in it.

So this incident has happened; have you dealt with if properly? By that I mean not just did you tell the other person or express some form of a reaction, did fully process how you were feeling at that moment in time and see the truth in why you were feeling that way?

Or did you simply say to yourself like I do so often in my life that, I’m not gonna let this affect me and push all thoughts of the incident to the depths of your mind, knowing honestly “I’m still holding a grudge.”

 

I should have said…..

If only I’d…..

Why couldn’t she……

I knew I should have……

 

Have you ever asked yourself these questions or a host of many others about a situation, long after it had occurred? If you have then my friend I tell you that you are holding onto a resentment.

Do not feel disheartened, it is my beliefs that resentment is a natural part of the human psyche, its not always easy to process situations honestly as they occur and see the truth, but what you do next is what shows strength and courage.

Can you look honestly at your part in that resentment? By that I mean disregard all persons, places and things that were involved in the situation and look honestly at the part that YOU played.

What defects of character were you acting out upon in that particular situation?

Selfishness, self-centredness, arrogance, Pride, Ego, dishonesty, Fear…. These are but a few there are many more to look at if we are to see the light and truth of the resentment.

For example am I really holding on to that resentment about my sister because I know honestly in my heart that I’ve lied to her and not confessed my sins for a past transgression, and so I am projecting the anger I feel towards myself onto her and overacting to what might be really an insignificant situation.

Is my fear of being found out or of being honest and rejected stopping me from saying what needs to be said.

This is just brushing the surface of how to do an honest and thorough moral inventory and look at the truth in whats really driving my behaviour and it’s a skill that comes through practice which I’ve only recently taken up again after much pain and discomfort (I’m talking emotionally not physically, but send me an email if you would like me to explain fully).

Not every situation will be your fault, however I have no control over the actions of others, in order for me to grow I must constantly look at the part in which I play and where I was wrong if I am to grow.

So next time you start to feel resentful about a person, place or thing, stop for a moment…

WRITE down the areas of your life that have been affected by this resentment…

Then WRITE down what part you played in that incident, what defects of character are you acting out upon that are causing you to feel this way?

The TRUTH may surprise you and if you can SHARE your findings with another person in your life that you trust who may be able to see the things that you cannot see in yourself.

This is not a method that I have recently come up with myself, it’s part of a program that I follow and have been guided through, practiced by millions of people around the world. If you would like to more just let me know

Good luck with your day and hope you find the peace you deserve through the truth that I hope you seek 🙂 x

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