I’m sorry

Two simple words

I’m sorry

How often have we said these words?

I’m sorry I’m late… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that… I’m sorry I didn’t know you wanted that…

How often have we said these words and how often do we really stop and think about why it is that we are apologising.

Have these words become such that it’s more an instinctive reaction when we sense that we are in trouble, words that role so easily off the tongue that we find that we have said them even before we have considered why it is that we are a actually saying them.

To say sorry, to admit we were wrong, shows strength not weakness, but the strength lies in recognising the harm caused be it great or small and not repeating the same mistake in future situations.

If like me you got to a point in your life where you’ve said these simple words so many times, without the consideration of your miss deeds, then the power or depth and weight these words once held had long since dissipated.

If we apologies but fail to learn from our mistakes, then eventually these words will become meaningless in the hearts and minds of others, for what good it will do, you may as well scream them at the top of your voice, but however loud you shout all that will be heard is but silence or a whisper by the intended party.

“No sweeter a word said can touch the heart and mind of another and mend a broken soul, unless the heart and mind be open to hearing those words, they fall upon deaf ears”

So what do you say if you can’t say sorry…

Try saying

I Was Wrong!

You may be thinking to yourself what’s the difference, is it not the same as saying “I’m sorry”?

When we say “I was wrong” we are making a clear cut statement that we were wrong. Sorry tends to at time be followed by the words “but” or by some other justification

I’m sorry I’m late, but my bus was late

In the above statement we have offered an apology and began to own responsibility for our mistake; then immediately passed the blame onto somebody else.

It’s the bus drivers fault not mine, if only he’d turned up on time then I wouldn’t be late, but if we are honest did we really leave ourselves enough time to make the journey or are we blaming somebody else for our inability to plan ahead and leave at a reasonable time in the morning?

To say “I was wrong” leaves no wiggle room as I like to call it, it says to the other person that we know we are at fault

ONLY if followed by the reasons why we were wrong!!

Why not give it a try

Instead of saying sorry, take a moment and say “I was wrong” followed by you acknowledging to the other person why it is that you are indeed wrong.

This is not to say that everything is your fault, there may be occasions where the circumstances are beyond anything that you could have prevented. It’s about taking ownership for your own actions and looking at the part you played and disregarding all others involved, where were you wrong not him, or her or them but YOU!!

The next step would be to make an amends for your wrong, but that’s another thought for another day….

Good luck to you on your journey 🙂 x

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