To Make Amends,

What does that really mean?

Isn’t sorry enough?

To make an amends is completely different from saying that you are sorry, for an amends is not so simple as to say a few sweet words of apology to make up for your misdeeds it goes further than that and shows true strength in you acknowledging the nature of the harm that you have caused.

Before you make an amends and approach the injured party, pause for a moment….

Look for the truth in the behaviour that you have just displayed, be it a lie that you told or some other action that caused harm to another

In looking at the truth in your behaviour, you can see what caused you to act in this way… Was it a fear of the unknown that caused you to lie? Is it that you did not realise that your behaviour was not the normal accepted response?

We are all creatures of habit and unless we see our behaviour as objectionable then we are unlikely to change and we will soon be back at this same point as we are most definitely due to repeat this same course of action.

Put yourself in the other persons shoes

How would I have felt if this had been done to me?

What areas of their life were affected by my actions?

Did me not turning up for work that day cost my employer money and a colleague their day off to cover for me?

Did my failure to pay my sister the money when I said I would leave her financially hard up and have to borrow money from a third party?

Putting yourself in the shoes of the person that you caused harm will enable you to acknowledge your behaviour honestly, not just in your mind but feel it in your heart.

You will know then why it is that you need to make the amends or repair that which has been broken, which in most cases is usually the trust of the other person.

Be honest about the harm you have caused, ALL OF IT, even that which the other person may not be aware of….

To be truly free and “walk in the sunlight of the spirit”, we have to shine a light on the darkness within each of us that would not would not wish others to see…

When you have have finished speaking with the other person ask them this question

Is there anything that I can do to make an amends to you?

It’s a hard thing to do, and you may not like what you are asked to do but show courage in your conviction and follow through on yours words with the necessary action.

Try it, before you begin to say sorry try putting yourself in the other persons shoes and fully acknowledging why it is that you are apologising…

Then ask them the question and follow through with the necessary action

Next you ‘may’ wish to make amends to those who you have caused harm to but perceive that they have wronged you in some way but that’s a though for another day

Good luck to you and I hope you find the freedom in the truth that you seek 🙂 x

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