Tag Archive: sunlight of the spirit


When I learn to feel, my heart will heal,
But how can I truly let go?..,.
and what is stopping me?

If my body be but a shell,
the physical manifestation of my true spirit within.
How then have I strayed so far,
From purity in the essence of my heart…

I’ve lived a lie and have worn a mask,
to protect me from the world,
A world i so desperately wanted to reach out and touch…

But to touch is to let you in…
But how would I start?
And where would I truly begin?

How do I let you see the side that I’ve so desperately fought to hide?
Can I truly pocket my Pride and become the man I’ve so long denied

Or will I forever live a lie?…

The darkness of my mind slowly creeps in,
It’s scares me now more than ever,
Reaching far deeper than I’ve ever been…

And then I see your face… Happiness fills me

But not for long…then comes Fear
Never ending Fear… But why?

I do not know but why…
I so desperately want to let you in…
But how would I start?
And where would I begin?…

Would I start with all thats good in me, my warmth and love and charity?

Yes this is it, this is what I want you to see,
This is the man I’ve so longed to be,

Feel the warmth of my spirit,
The violent yet gentle flame burning within,
Let me wrap my arms around you,
Warming you in my loving eternal embrace,

Reaching out to you and caressing your face

Let me call to you, call you by your Name

Speak words so Sweet, so Pure and Divine,

If all I have to offer you be but a few simple words,
Let the words I speak here today, take root in your Heart,
Let them be the seeds of Life to an everlasting tree of Devine Hope

These are the words I’ve never shared,
The words I’ve so long to but never dared…
To speak to you not with my mouth and lips,
But with my Heart and Eternal Soul

Let me call to you to hear my cry,
Hear the silenced voice of the little boy deep inside,
The man I’ve become bares the scars of false pride,
Standing before you this day is not a Man…But a Child

Clumsy and off balanced as I learn to stand and take that vital first step into the unknown

I feel as if I’m falling… But within you I feel the wings to Fly,
I won’t crash and burn, I’ll launch into flight, Soaring higher than I’ve ever been

Fear grips me by the throat strangling me from the inside,

But something’s different now…

“Take a breathe”…

“It’s ok”…

“Take a breath”

I hear a voice from within

“It’ll be ok, trust in me”

It’s no longer a battle, I no longer have to Win,
Let me head the echoing words of the True voice within

Today in You I see not the end,
I’ve feel the Essence of your Love in you my Friend

But to tell you half a tale would be still a Lie,
I’m still holding you at arms length away… And I don’t know why?..

How do I let you completely in?…
I’ve begun to let you in….
But now I’m scared to truly begin….

How do I take off the mask I’ve worn for so long?
Peel back the layers that I once thought kept me safe,

What will you think of me, when you get to truly see…
That I am not as Perfect as I make out to be…
There’s a whole other side to me…
And there is much of which I am ashamed…

I open my mouth…Nothing
I try again…. Nothing
I’m crippled with fear and I know not why

But then I feel your Touch… Oh how I want you so much

As I stand there looking into your eyes, I finally start to realise,
That you can already see,
Into the deepest depths of me,
To what the eye is blind to, but the Loving Heart can see

And your not Afraid.

You simply take my hand and Smile…

I pause for a while…

What is this I Feel inside? what used to be Fear has now begun to subside,

No longer am I deafened by fears crippling call, fueled by my arrogance and false pride

I no longer wish to Hide!!

I’m Finally ready, it feels natural with you to just be ME

All that I’ve ever wanted to Be

All I am I share with you Now,

Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually

I offer you my hand as we walk into the sun light of the Spirit
Bringing light to festered shadows of my mind
Let the boy within me hear the Beauty of your Lovers call..

At this perfect moment of internal bliss both He and I become One,

I, He, We and then just Me,

Now finally….You and Me

When I learned to Feel,
My wounds were Healed,

I am no longer afraid to let You In
I’ve finally let go and shared with you the essence of my True being,

My Soul within,

I was once Afraid and Blind to See, that the only thing that was stopping Me was….

ME

XxX

Amends

To Make Amends,

What does that really mean?

Isn’t sorry enough?

To make an amends is completely different from saying that you are sorry, for an amends is not so simple as to say a few sweet words of apology to make up for your misdeeds it goes further than that and shows true strength in you acknowledging the nature of the harm that you have caused.

Before you make an amends and approach the injured party, pause for a moment….

Look for the truth in the behaviour that you have just displayed, be it a lie that you told or some other action that caused harm to another

In looking at the truth in your behaviour, you can see what caused you to act in this way… Was it a fear of the unknown that caused you to lie? Is it that you did not realise that your behaviour was not the normal accepted response?

We are all creatures of habit and unless we see our behaviour as objectionable then we are unlikely to change and we will soon be back at this same point as we are most definitely due to repeat this same course of action.

Put yourself in the other persons shoes

How would I have felt if this had been done to me?

What areas of their life were affected by my actions?

Did me not turning up for work that day cost my employer money and a colleague their day off to cover for me?

Did my failure to pay my sister the money when I said I would leave her financially hard up and have to borrow money from a third party?

Putting yourself in the shoes of the person that you caused harm will enable you to acknowledge your behaviour honestly, not just in your mind but feel it in your heart.

You will know then why it is that you need to make the amends or repair that which has been broken, which in most cases is usually the trust of the other person.

Be honest about the harm you have caused, ALL OF IT, even that which the other person may not be aware of….

To be truly free and “walk in the sunlight of the spirit”, we have to shine a light on the darkness within each of us that would not would not wish others to see…

When you have have finished speaking with the other person ask them this question

Is there anything that I can do to make an amends to you?

It’s a hard thing to do, and you may not like what you are asked to do but show courage in your conviction and follow through on yours words with the necessary action.

Try it, before you begin to say sorry try putting yourself in the other persons shoes and fully acknowledging why it is that you are apologising…

Then ask them the question and follow through with the necessary action

Next you ‘may’ wish to make amends to those who you have caused harm to but perceive that they have wronged you in some way but that’s a though for another day

Good luck to you and I hope you find the freedom in the truth that you seek 🙂 x