Tag Archive: Shame


Have you ever considered how much of what you display is an act and how much of it is the real you?

All of us play roles at some point in our lives, but where does the role stop and the real person inside begin.

Take meeting a perspective partner for the first time.

On that first instance, the first approach there is an element of acting involved.

 

It’s the age old dance that men and women play whatever your preference may be.

Like an interview you only get one chance to sell yourself and make a good first impression, to your perspective other.

I may be quiet, timid and insecure but on that first approach, those are the less favourable qualities of my character that I do not display.

The man you meet could maybe be seen as an exaggeration of my better qualities, but to some degree that is not the real me only the light side of the coin.

 

In my working life I play a different role.

Training and experience has enabled me to be able to handle certain situations that would cause many to fail.

This however is not so much an act but could be considered to be such if the confidence that I display in a familiar situation of which I’ve learned responses; is not the behaviour that I display in my everyday life.

Therein could be the problem that you may face and ask yourself, where does the actor or actress in me that has learned what the necessary response may be finish and where does the variety of my true nature and character begin?

 

I think to some degree I’ve always been an actor, able to assess situations and formulate the appropriate response to whatever life may throw at me.

The problem starts when you are unable to take off the multitude of masks and costumes that you may wear.

Worker, Husband, Wife, Father, Mother, Son, Daughter, CEO, Boss

All of these roles are the building blocks of your character, the person you portray, but are they really you deep down inside?

Being true to one’s self may often mean sacrificing parts of one’s self and compromising on certain beliefs…

“I was a career oriented woman or man until we had our first child”

Things that once drove you to strive to achieve are no longer the focal points of your life,

“I used to work late nights but it means more to me now to tuck my son or daughter in, than to spend that extra hour at the office”

 

As a parent you make sacrifices every day, for those you love as you put their needs ahead of your own.

This is not the actions of an actor, but the actions of the Love you poses.

We all play different roles in life,

 

Different circumstances may cause us to change our outer shell,

But for me it is most important to stay true to who we are.

 

To let someone completely in and see the true you, is the greatest expression of honesty,

My joys and successes,

My fears and my woes,

 

To be an actor bares no shame, sometimes we all need to take on certain roles,

But to deny one’s self fully, is a greater sin,

 

The true self is always changing,

I am no more the man I was yesterday,

As today had changed me into something else

But at my core,

I know who I am,

As you know who you are.

Actor/self

True/False

Only you can decide

🙂 Xx

 

Why?

Why?

I can see it your eye,

You asking me “Why?”

 

Why did I do it again?

 

I tell we’re supposed to be friends,

But nothings chnaged now we’re back here again and your asking me

 

“Why?”

 

The look in your eyes is torturing,

I can feel your pain, which fills me with shame,

Cause I don’t have an answer to your question..

 

“Why?”

 

I told you uI loved you, and in that moment I meant it,

These are not just words

Not some new verse,

That day as I held you in my arms,

You were my universe,

The one I could see my self ending up with,

 

Quiting my old ways, coming out of the wild,

I can see me as the father and you as the mother of my child

Everything was perfect,

That day you were worth it,

 

But now you asking me why…

 

And I dont have an answer…

 

No sweet a word I could conjour out from my lips,

I wanna storke your hair and steal a kiss,

But this is not what your looking for from me right now..

 

The actions are easy, but words are hard,

I’ve thrown a life a way, something we planned,

You were my girl and I was your man

 

But not anymore things have changed,

How could I ever cause you so much pain,

 

You ask me again

 

“Why?”

And truthfully….

 

“I don’t know Why”