Tag Archive: perfect


I’m Sorry

im-sorry

I’m Sorry,

 

I’m Sorry I don’t live up to your standards,

But it’s not my fault that you can’t see,

That there is only one true version of me,

 

I’m Sorry is a word I used to say to you,

Before I had the chance to really think it through

 

So many days I used to agonise,

Why do I have this need to look perfect in your eyes?

Why did it take me so long to realise?

 

This shit ain’t worth it,

My life aint perfect,

But the way I feel today,

I know that I’m worth it,

 

I was once Sorry for me,

Now I’m Sorry for you,

I’m Sorry you cut us short and didn’t want to see this through,

 

I’m Sorry for all the moments that we will miss,

To Touch,

To Hold,

To share a Kiss,

 

I’m Sorry that you could not wait to see,

That there is so much more to me,

 

I used to say Sorry and thought that I meant it,

But not anymore….

 

I’m not Sorry for who I am,

 

Whether you’re in my life or not….

 

Redemption,

To make up for the mistakes of one’s past,

To be redeemed in the eyes of one fellows,

To prove that you have truly changed your ways,

We all live with the scars of past mistakes,

Every choice and decision has made me into the person I am today,

I would not be as so arrogant to say that I have lived a perfect life,

Or that the angel I can sometimes portray to the outside world would be an accurate account of my true nature,

The first step towards redemption is to take responsibility for ones actions,

The second step is to live with the consequences of those decisions and realise that although you may wish to atone and mend your ways,

For some the moment when you may be ready to atone and face your demons, may not be a time when they wish to forgive.

Trust once so freely given when lost, can be a hard thing to earn once more

But there comes a point where you have to let go,

Not forget!

But Let Go,

You can only offer so many apologise,

Do so many good deeds, which in the grand scheme of things lead you to believe that you’re truly changing and atoning for your past,

But if the person or persons whom which you wish to atone, are unable to see past the darkness of the person you once were,

Then it may be that all you can do is walk away….

At least for now,

No person however far you may feel you have fallen is not worth saving,

Most days hope can be your ally, in the darkest moments of your life,

That urge never to give up and un-explainable faith that things will get better,

To walk away is not to admit defeat or to shirk one’s responsibilities,

Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing,

For to take further action would only cause more harm,

You may be at peace with your past,

But some scars run deep and leave marks no words so sweetly spoken could ever hope to heal.

I’m at peace with my past,

Though those around me may be unwilling to let go,

For me all that is left it to look towards my future,

Whether you be in my life or not,

I have admitted my faults and taken action towards setting things right,

The rest is up to you,

I tire of fighting to prove that I have changed and taking the brunt of past anger,

It is not by choice that I have walked away from parts of my life,

But to realise the there is little else I can do and that to stay would cause more harm than good,

Change does not come easy,

It is not a simple victory that can be won by a few good deeds or uttering but some simple words of apology,

All I can do is pray that I am truly a different man,

From whom I used to be,

And that those I love will come to see this in their own time…

I do this not only for you but for me also,

Redemption sought for the sake of another,

To solely regain one’s favour is not a truth in itself.

Regardless of what you may think of me,

I am who I am that’s all I can be,

And I pray one day you will finally see,

The lost and angry man you used to know,

Is not the true me… Xx

 

Why?

Why?

I can see it your eye,

You asking me “Why?”

 

Why did I do it again?

 

I tell we’re supposed to be friends,

But nothings chnaged now we’re back here again and your asking me

 

“Why?”

 

The look in your eyes is torturing,

I can feel your pain, which fills me with shame,

Cause I don’t have an answer to your question..

 

“Why?”

 

I told you uI loved you, and in that moment I meant it,

These are not just words

Not some new verse,

That day as I held you in my arms,

You were my universe,

The one I could see my self ending up with,

 

Quiting my old ways, coming out of the wild,

I can see me as the father and you as the mother of my child

Everything was perfect,

That day you were worth it,

 

But now you asking me why…

 

And I dont have an answer…

 

No sweet a word I could conjour out from my lips,

I wanna storke your hair and steal a kiss,

But this is not what your looking for from me right now..

 

The actions are easy, but words are hard,

I’ve thrown a life a way, something we planned,

You were my girl and I was your man

 

But not anymore things have changed,

How could I ever cause you so much pain,

 

You ask me again

 

“Why?”

And truthfully….

 

“I don’t know Why”

 

I’m Sorry

 

I’m Sorry

I’m Sorry if I don’t live up to your Standards,

But it’s not my fault you can’t See,

That there is only one true version of Me,

 

I’m Sorry is a word I used to say to you,

Before I’d had a chance to really think it throuhg,

 

So many days I used to agonize,

Why do I have this need to look Perfect in your eyes?

Why did it take me so long to realise? 

 

This Shit ain’t worth it,

My life ain’t Perfect,

But the way I feel today,

I know that I’m Worth It

 

I was once Sorry for Me,

Now I’m Sorry for You,

I’m Sorry you cut us short and didn’t want to see this through,

 

I’m Sorry for all the moments that we will miss,

To Touch, To Hold, To Share a Kiss,

 

I’m Sorry that you could not wait to See,

That there is so much more to Me,

 

I used to say Sorry and thought that I meant it

But not anymore…

 

I’m not Sorry for who I am,

Whether your in my life or not…

You are where you are meant to be

Right now at this very moment in time, could you consider that this is where you are meant to be?

How often do we say to ourselves:

“I wish I was where he or she was”

“I wish I had his or her life”

“if only I had made this or that decision my life would be different”

“My life shouldn’t have turned out this way”

As human beings we are granted the luxury of free will and have the ability to make choices both good and bad that will have a direct impact on the paths we go on to take on our journey through life.

Granted that the choices life presents you with may be determined by the environment in which you were born into.

But do you have the courage, determination and belief within yourself to tempt ‘would be fate’ and take the necessary action to change your stars and forge a new destiny for yourself?

A destiny different from that from which you were born into?

Or are you consoled to let the once hopeful dreams of a child fade away and die, remaining but flittering thoughts of an innocent soul who’s perception of the world was once full of hope?

Every decision we make has repercussions both good and bad,

But could you conceive that every decision that you have made up until this very moment was the right one for you?

It is my belief that life is a journey and to have become the man I am today I couldn’t have walked any other path.

I used to say to myself:

If I would have finished university, my life wouldn’t have turned out this way….

If that had been my path then I wouldnt have been able to spend time with my mum during the final year of her life, precious moments more valuable than any degree or possible ‘perfect job’ in the present could make up for.

I’m tired of earning low wages, I deserve more money….

Did I really? I’ve earned more money in the past, but my ability to take responsibility and manage my finances has only come to me recently.

Having more money when I thought I deserved it would never had lead to me being able to be grateful for what little I’ve earned and be able to reach a level of maturity to be able to handle all the financial responsibility that comes with being an adult. An inevitability to which I have avoided until now and I’m nearly twenty-six years old.

Whatever trials we face in our life both good and bad lead us to the inevitable point where in that seemingly meaningless moment, we have to make a decision and be able live with the consequences

But take comfort in the fact that no one among us is Perfect

To be able to identify honestly where you were wrong and be able to learn from those mistakes made shows strength in your character and demonstrates that you are growing as a person.

Some of life’s lessons can only be learned through experiencing them first hand.

It’s the lessons from these moments that we carry forward with us and help to forge our character.

Would you really be who you are today had you not lived through every seconds and every moment up until this very point in time?

,You are where you are meant to be

Right now, here in this very moment as you read these words from the page and take each breath in and out.

Treasure every precious moment you have in this Life,

Truly live in the present to be able to experience the beauty in the essence of life in the world all around you.

You can’t change your past but you can learn from each and every experiences and be able to make the necessary changes that will carry you forward into the future.

Whatever your age, where ever you are right now, your story is still yet to be told….

I wish you all the best on your journey

,One day

,One hour,

,One second,

,One moment at a time 🙂 x