Tag Archive: change



I can see it your eye,

You asking me “Why?”


Why did I do it again?


I tell we’re supposed to be friends,

But nothings chnaged now we’re back here again and your asking me




The look in your eyes is torturing,

I can feel your pain, which fills me with shame,

Cause I don’t have an answer to your question..




I told you uI loved you, and in that moment I meant it,

These are not just words

Not some new verse,

That day as I held you in my arms,

You were my universe,

The one I could see my self ending up with,


Quiting my old ways, coming out of the wild,

I can see me as the father and you as the mother of my child

Everything was perfect,

That day you were worth it,


But now you asking me why…


And I dont have an answer…


No sweet a word I could conjour out from my lips,

I wanna storke your hair and steal a kiss,

But this is not what your looking for from me right now..


The actions are easy, but words are hard,

I’ve thrown a life a way, something we planned,

You were my girl and I was your man


But not anymore things have changed,

How could I ever cause you so much pain,


You ask me again



And truthfully….


“I don’t know Why”




What does it mean?


Am I really willing to take said course of action or am I just saying that I am?

Does my mind tell that I am willing to engage and follow the way of logic?

But does my behavior as expressed by my actions dictate that the path I follow displays a fundamental unwillingness to change?

“I know it worked for him or her, I’ve seen the proof! how then can I not give it a try when my way clearly isn’t working”

What then is stopping me from being willing?

The answer to this question is Me!!

There’s a Vast difference between Knowing the right path and Walking the right path.

To take Action is the key,

It is a gift unto to which no man or woman can give another,
For it is a deep routed desire or a feeling of absolute conviction that must come from within one’s self

Only you can answer this question if you be Willing to Honestly look at yourself

Thus I ask this question again:

What then is stopping me from being willing?

Could it be Fear?

Fear of the unknown

It could be said that “it is easier to walk the path most familiar, than to venture out into unchartered terrain”

Nothing in Life is can be planned out so absolute as to say the outcome can be determined to 100% degree of accuracy,

For every decision, every course of action inevitably has some element of unknown risk

Willingness to change is to face that risk,

To take a leap of faith and trust in ourselves or others or in a power that lies beyond the realm of what man can perceive

That whatever it is that we are to change will take course and the outcome will be as it is meant to be

So often we are unwilling to do so if the path seem undesirable or too strenuous despite the logic that we may see in doing or taking said course of action.

“Nothing changes, if NOTHING CHANGES

Let go of what is in your mind, and ask only Honesty of thy own Heart

Only you can answer the question

Am I willing?

If the answer be Yes,

Have the courage to take that inevitable leap of Faith in taking the necessary action required

How did it happen again? 

 Early in the Evening:

Phone Rings


“Hello mate its how’s it going?”


“Alright Tim not too bad what you up to?”


“You fancy coming out tonight? Everyone’s going down the club,

been ages since we last saw you”


“No not tonight mate I think I’ll stay in  and have a quiet one”

(I’d love to go out but I promised myself I wouldn’t drink this week)

“Oh come on mate you got to come out everyone’s going

at least say you’ll come for one, its Sarah’s birthday

you got to come celebrate you got no excuse”


(I don’t know if I should go last time I got wrecked and made a fool of myself….but he did say just a couple I’ll

go for one just to be social It’d be rude not to)


“All right mate I’ll come but just for one and to wish Sarah a

happy Birthday, but cant stay for long”

“Excellent mate I’ll pick you up in an hour”


“Alright see you in a bit”


“See you in a bit, tonight gonna be great just  you wait

 got the whole gang back together again”


(Did I make the right decision? its been three weeks and my family finally

starting to trust me again after last time……

but I’m only going for one there’s no harm in that……

and it has been a while since I’ve seen Tim, Sarah and my friends,

It wont happen this time, I’ll only have one…..

It’ll be okay………)


Later that Night in the club:

“I thought you said you were just gonna have one”


“I was but it’s a party mate and a couple beers

never hurt anyone”


“New you couldn’t just have one, I’m glad you decided

to stay out tonight, I’ve missed you the past few weeks”


“Yeah It’s great to be back don’t remember why I left…….” (continued)

Am I Standing Still or Am I Moving Backwards?

It’s a simple enough question, but what does it really mean?

In life we perceive that we are always in a state of perpetual motion, going about our daily lives as we not only do what is necessary to survive but that which brings us some measure of joy.

I’m not talking about standing still in the sense of one who stands still to best perceive the beauty in the wonders all around us, be that the small acts of kindness that go unnoticed or the essence of nature which is in a constant state of change

I’m talking about standing still in the sense of:

Where am I going in life? What is my ultimate aim? What is it that is driving me and where is it taking me?

Be you of a spiritual nature not necessarily defined by any particular religious faith, are you true to your beliefs? Do you have the faith in the power guiding you to walk the path that has been laid at your feet?

Or by your own judgement have you become stagnate and long since lost that faith or drive that you once had?

The key factor in the above question is in the ACTIONS that you take each day

“I’m unhappy with my job….”

What have you done to look for a new job? Have you updated or EVEN created a CV and applied anywhere new?

“I want to get fit…”

Do you actually exercise or just talk about it? Have you sought out advice on how to best start or have you done the usual and joined a gym, gone for about a week and given up as the results were not instantaneous, or the effort required was more than you expected?

“I don’t want to be on my own anymore…”

What are you doing to meet someone new? Are you trying different activities where you may meet someone with commons interests? Are you open to those around you who may care for you that way as often we look so hard for that we seek that we miss whats right in front of our eyes (not to say that you should try chat up all of your close female or male friends), but do I put myself out there and talk to women or men or do I wait for them to approach me?

I’ve just given a few examples but the list could be endless.

When we make a decision to change or to take on a new endeavor, at it’s foundation we have some measure if faith or drive that will be needed to accomplish that task

But somewhere along the line that faith or drive waivers and we perceive that we are standing still when really we are going Backwards.

We all need time to figure out our path in this life as the road ahead is bumpy and winding our sense of direction is not always clear. But be careful not to take too long deciding your inevitable fate for you will see life pass you by, and the road you will need to walk to get back to where you once were will be much greater.

The word ‘Trudge’ is one I have come to love for it means ‘to walk with purpose’

Trudge forward each day, be your steps big or small and hope you move closer and closer to your happy destiny 🙂 Xx

The first step is always the hardest or so the saying goes, but what’s stopping me from taking it?

Am I as fearless as I would lead you to believe or am I really still at heart that little boy or girl, stumbling around through life as I did all those years ago, when I took my first steps in this world and learned to find my balance and then to walk

I can quite easily give you a great list of all the things I don’t like about my life and may even take pleasure in the venting of my frustrations, but why can’t I seem to take the necessary action to change those things? What’s stopping me?

Fear of the unknown

“Better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t”

I may say to you that I hate my job, but the only thing keeping me there is ME!!

My fear of change and the unknown is all that may be stopping me from going for that all important promotion or making that change in career that would see me obtain the fulfilment and personal satisfaction through knowing I’m giving my all to a career that breeds passion in my heart and not just doing another ‘job’ to pay the bills.

We all experience fear in this life, it’s one of the basic human instincts and its primitive function is to keep us alive.

Fear of danger forces us to either ‘fight or flight’.

But the fear of change is a learned fear, we are all creatures of habit and unfortunately that can mean that we are slow to embrace change even when we can see clearly the light at the end of the tunnel is worth that first step into that dark and scary unknown.

Learn to face your fears, recognise what is it that is making you feel afraid to take that first step and take the necessary action to change and learn to face that fear.

Take advice from others and be quick to see where you can learn from the experience of those who’s footsteps you now follow. Increased knowledge will enable you to reduce the unknown factor of the decision that you are currently contemplating.

All that’s left then is to take that first step…

It’s been my experience that the fear of doing something is usually a lot worse than actually doing whatever the task may be

Good Luck to you 🙂 x

Who am I?

Who am I?

I can’t tell you that,

I’m not the man that I was yesterday,

And I’m not the man I will be tomorrow,

Who I am is here and now in the present and in the essence of each breath as it passes in and out through my body, which in its simplest form is the basis for life,


Be ever mindful of the present,


Gazing too far into the future will see life pass you by and you will have missed all of those important steps that you would have needed to take to achieve the goal that you envisaged.

Dwelling too much on the past can leave you trapped in a never ending cycle, you can never again be the person you once were, but here and now in the present you can affect the person that you want to be.


So then who am I?

I am ever evolving from one moment until the next, the man you meet today may not be the same man you meet tomorrow, but all of this is okay as long as your willing to grow and embrace the change that comes with life 🙂 x