Wrong Address

Hello…. Is it me your looking for???

Hello…. Is it me your looking for???

No…. Then who are you looking for???

Ahh Dave… Nah mate you got the wrong house, Dave lives two doors down 🙂

Random

Lean on me, when your not strong, I’ll be your friend, I’ll help u carry on, for it won’t b long till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on….

Bloody hell mate, I didn’t realise u were that heavy 🙂 x 

 

Bad Santa Jokes 

 (I know its a few months gone but still got em on my mind)

 

1.Stalking Santa

He see’s you when your sleeping,

He knows when your awake…….

“Im afraid madam this jolly fat man’s been watching you and your family for some time”.

“We caught him last night attempting to break into your property through your chimney”

 

2.Security Measures

 

“Have you locked all the doors??”

“Yes!!”

“Have you bolted the windows shut??”

“Yes!!”

“Have you made sure to close the fire place???”

“Yes, I told you the place is secure!!”

“Good!, I don’t know how he manages it but this year, that jolly fat bastards not breaking in!!”

 

 

« »