Category: Thoughts


01

Regrets

To Live with Regret

“I wish I would have….”

“If only I’d done….. Instead of……”

How often to we say to ourselves these things?

What would you truly do to be able to go back and replay an experience in life having the information that you posses now that may have been lacking at the time?

Hindsight is a valuable tool that we as humans posses,

Everyday we make choices based on the sum of our experiences through life, every step that has lead us down our path in our journey through life,

Every moment in time up until that inevitable moment where we must make that decision and live with the consequences that are to follow.

To Live with Regret is to hold onto the past.

As we replay the situation over and over again in our minds, we tell ourselves what we would have done differently had we known what we know now.

But consider this

Would I really have the knowledge and experience that I poses now, had I not made the decision that I had made?

Whatever the outcome what’s matters most is not the mistakes that you make in Life but what you are able to learn from then.

If I regret a decision then I have not truly Learned the lesson of that experience.

Some times these lessons are glaringly obvious:

“I know now in the future I need to prepare better, I didn’t do enough revision”

“I need to work on my interview technique, next time they’ll hire me”

Don’t regret the life you’ve lived instead choose to take lessons from the experiences you’ve obtained, letting these lessons carry you into the future.

Life is to short to live with regret

Make the most if each day,
Live life till its fullest,

I’m 27 now and I am where I am meant to be, every decision had made me the man I am today

To deny this fact is to deny who I truly am

I wish you all the best on your journey today 🙂 X

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Today this could be, the greatest day of our lives…

Or this could be the worst day, depending on your perspective…

Start your day of well today,

Focus on being all that you can be,

If I go out into the world with the mindset that everyday I am going to live up to my full potential,

Then Everyday is a Great Day

If my day starts with fear and an outlook of doom and gloom, then how can I expect my day to go any other way,

Things may or may not go the way I want them to go,

But what is important is that I be open to experience everything the day has to offer and not close my mind with my own preconceptions about life,

If I live for today, truly in every moment and every second of the day,

Then this has not been a day that has been wasted,

For what I experience today may carry me into the future,

Today this could be the greatest day of our lives

If we live everyday this way, I’m not saying we won’t be disappointed,

But we will be present to handle and face the challenges that we are presented.

No two days are ever the same,

I can never get yesterday back and I do not know with absolute certainty what tomorrow holds for me.

I wish you well on your journey today,

And I hope you make the most of today, however you choose to spend it

As I shut my front door and go out into the world, I have hope and look forward to the challenges I am to face today,

Life is truly too short to spend worrying about the past, present and future; try and focus on the here and now.

Today this could be the greatest day of our lives

Whatever life has to offer you today, I hope you have an open mind and open heart to experience it.

Everyday is a great day depending on how “I” choose to perceive the world.

🙂 Xx

Have you ever considered how much of what you display is an act and how much of it is the real you?

All of us play roles at some point in our lives, but where does the role stop and the real person inside begin.

Take meeting a perspective partner for the first time.

On that first instance, the first approach there is an element of acting involved.

 

It’s the age old dance that men and women play whatever your preference may be.

Like an interview you only get one chance to sell yourself and make a good first impression, to your perspective other.

I may be quiet, timid and insecure but on that first approach, those are the less favourable qualities of my character that I do not display.

The man you meet could maybe be seen as an exaggeration of my better qualities, but to some degree that is not the real me only the light side of the coin.

 

In my working life I play a different role.

Training and experience has enabled me to be able to handle certain situations that would cause many to fail.

This however is not so much an act but could be considered to be such if the confidence that I display in a familiar situation of which I’ve learned responses; is not the behaviour that I display in my everyday life.

Therein could be the problem that you may face and ask yourself, where does the actor or actress in me that has learned what the necessary response may be finish and where does the variety of my true nature and character begin?

 

I think to some degree I’ve always been an actor, able to assess situations and formulate the appropriate response to whatever life may throw at me.

The problem starts when you are unable to take off the multitude of masks and costumes that you may wear.

Worker, Husband, Wife, Father, Mother, Son, Daughter, CEO, Boss

All of these roles are the building blocks of your character, the person you portray, but are they really you deep down inside?

Being true to one’s self may often mean sacrificing parts of one’s self and compromising on certain beliefs…

“I was a career oriented woman or man until we had our first child”

Things that once drove you to strive to achieve are no longer the focal points of your life,

“I used to work late nights but it means more to me now to tuck my son or daughter in, than to spend that extra hour at the office”

 

As a parent you make sacrifices every day, for those you love as you put their needs ahead of your own.

This is not the actions of an actor, but the actions of the Love you poses.

We all play different roles in life,

 

Different circumstances may cause us to change our outer shell,

But for me it is most important to stay true to who we are.

 

To let someone completely in and see the true you, is the greatest expression of honesty,

My joys and successes,

My fears and my woes,

 

To be an actor bares no shame, sometimes we all need to take on certain roles,

But to deny one’s self fully, is a greater sin,

 

The true self is always changing,

I am no more the man I was yesterday,

As today had changed me into something else

But at my core,

I know who I am,

As you know who you are.

Actor/self

True/False

Only you can decide

🙂 Xx

 

Redemption,

To make up for the mistakes of one’s past,

To be redeemed in the eyes of one fellows,

To prove that you have truly changed your ways,

We all live with the scars of past mistakes,

Every choice and decision has made me into the person I am today,

I would not be as so arrogant to say that I have lived a perfect life,

Or that the angel I can sometimes portray to the outside world would be an accurate account of my true nature,

The first step towards redemption is to take responsibility for ones actions,

The second step is to live with the consequences of those decisions and realise that although you may wish to atone and mend your ways,

For some the moment when you may be ready to atone and face your demons, may not be a time when they wish to forgive.

Trust once so freely given when lost, can be a hard thing to earn once more

But there comes a point where you have to let go,

Not forget!

But Let Go,

You can only offer so many apologise,

Do so many good deeds, which in the grand scheme of things lead you to believe that you’re truly changing and atoning for your past,

But if the person or persons whom which you wish to atone, are unable to see past the darkness of the person you once were,

Then it may be that all you can do is walk away….

At least for now,

No person however far you may feel you have fallen is not worth saving,

Most days hope can be your ally, in the darkest moments of your life,

That urge never to give up and un-explainable faith that things will get better,

To walk away is not to admit defeat or to shirk one’s responsibilities,

Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing,

For to take further action would only cause more harm,

You may be at peace with your past,

But some scars run deep and leave marks no words so sweetly spoken could ever hope to heal.

I’m at peace with my past,

Though those around me may be unwilling to let go,

For me all that is left it to look towards my future,

Whether you be in my life or not,

I have admitted my faults and taken action towards setting things right,

The rest is up to you,

I tire of fighting to prove that I have changed and taking the brunt of past anger,

It is not by choice that I have walked away from parts of my life,

But to realise the there is little else I can do and that to stay would cause more harm than good,

Change does not come easy,

It is not a simple victory that can be won by a few good deeds or uttering but some simple words of apology,

All I can do is pray that I am truly a different man,

From whom I used to be,

And that those I love will come to see this in their own time…

I do this not only for you but for me also,

Redemption sought for the sake of another,

To solely regain one’s favour is not a truth in itself.

Regardless of what you may think of me,

I am who I am that’s all I can be,

And I pray one day you will finally see,

The lost and angry man you used to know,

Is not the true me… Xx

 

Past, Present, Future

Past – where I’ve been

Present – Where I am now

Future – Where I hope to be or where I see myself going

Where do you currently reside?

It’s a simple question, but take a second to think about it before you can answer honestly.

The “Past” is the places I’ve been, the people that came before me,

It can be said that the some total of your “experience” are building blocks of the man or woman that you are today. I would not be where I am at this very moment in time had i not experienced all the good and bad things that led me to this very point in time.

The Present is what is happening right now.

Right now this very second you are reading the words off of this page.

As I write them, so do you take them in and form your own opinion and understanding of what has been wrote.

But the present is not a lasting “thing” for lack of a better choice of words, as it is truly a state of being that you perceive in the essence of the “moment” before it becomes only but a memory and a part of your past.

The Future is forever changing and is that which is yet to come.

Everyday we make decisions or choices that will make an impact on the course that we take through life

“I won’t go to that party”

Had you had gone maybe you would have met the woman or man of your dreams, but this would be an outcome unlived

“I’ll take that job instead of this one”

 The people and experiences that you would have gained from taking either path would inevitably affect who you are to become and the wisdom and skill you would gain in your present life

But you can’t know what lies ahead with every outcome as you have to make a decision… “One or the other” and be able to live with what the future is to entail based on your current decision

When I asked above “which state are you currently living in” I asked you to pause for a reason.

Ideally we would strive to be living in a constant state of being i.e. the present, so that we are able to fully comprehend and take in all that is around us and truly experience life.

But such a state is hard to sustain fully and in my experience we often find ourselves slipping into the memories of the past or lost in the contemplation of what is yet to come.

The past is a great teacher but do not let yourself get trapped there.

We all experience both good and bad events as we grow into the people that we become, some of which leave scars and memories that we either strive to fight against and rebel or hope to live up to.

“I’m not going to end up like him or her”

May be a good motivation to give you the inner energy needed to succeed and achieve your goals,

But if you are running from the memory be careful that you don’t become what you have fought so hard to avoid in your quest to change your fate. To hold onto such hate will eventually consume you if you let it, rather than striving not to be him or her learn from his or her mistakes so that you can be the best version of you in the present.

You can say that similarly looking too far into the future can cause much harm if done in a way that makes you unable to see what is happening right in front of your eyes:

“I’m gonna be a millionaire”

“I’m gonna be a great dad and have a wonderful partner and kids”

Too few realise that although these may admirable goals to set oneself, there are a number of steps that we each have to walk until that “future goal becomes a present reality”

Be careful that you get so focused on the perfect ideal that the present joy and happiness will walk in and out of your life.

The real question you should be asking yourself after you have made your future aspirations is how am i going to achieve this thing?

Followed at once by taking “Action” in the “Present”

Learn from the Past, don’t look to deny or become trapped there

Learn to be Present, you only get one life and you will never again experience the events of today, make the most of it and be there in mind and body to experience it in all its beauty

Strive towards the future, don’t just live in the fantasy ask yourself honestly how you are to achieve such goals and take the necessary action to turn a dream into a reality

But the future is forever changing, no one’s fate is written in the stars

Have faith that you are where you are meant to be right now that’s all you need concern yourself with

 

I can’t change what’s already happened only learn from it and tomorrow hasn’t happened yet,

So why spend time worrying too much about it

Go out and Live and things will work out as there meant to. 🙂

Choices

 

Choices

Decisions

Everyday each of us has to make a choice or a decision.

Some of the choices we make bare little weight on the overall bearing on the course we travel through in our lives 

Have little impact on the outward ripple that carries on the wave that touches the lives of those we love and care about or even those we make “think” we hate or may not be aware;

For I could only tell you the way I see things from my perspective, I can see it’s effects in and around me some are tangible proof, others are only but a feeling,

I would not be so arrogant as to presume that though we may have lived through the same event, I could ever fully comprehend what it is that you felt and experienced at that very moment in time.

Decisions that are great in magnitude are sometimes made so lightly that we can only see the desired outcome of first few waves, not the upcoming storm on the horizon.

“But how then do we make a choice?”

“What is it that we should consider?”

I could spend a life time in deep contemplation, pondering all outcomes and trying to envision this “important decision” from all sides as so to limit the damage of my inevitable impact on those around me.

But to do so would mean my own defeat for I would have missed what it is to be alive

We can acquire all the knowledge in the world learned through books and our fellows as we grow….

But “Wisdom” comes through experience, taking what I’ve learned in a text book or class room and putting it into real life application

“Wisdom” not only come from making the “right” choices in life but also from the “mistakes” that we make, with the key being that we are “willing” and able to “Learn” from each and every experience.

In the end that final leap involves and element of “Luck” or what some might call “faith” it name is not important

As “no outcome is ever 100%” there is always the possibility that things may go the opposite way from which you expect, despite what all the evidence may be telling you.

Take time to really consider how your actions will impact others, if we all did this honestly the world would be a better place, but believe me saying it is much “easier” than putting its application into “practice” and I am by no means a saint.

My best advice is to be “true to who you are” whatever that may be in every decision you make, do not spend to long pondering for you will see your life slip pass you by…

And “Learn!!” Sometimes the greatest lessons that we learn through good or bad choices only come to us when we are “willing and open to see the truth”

All the best to you today 🙂

 

Willingness

Willingness

What does it mean?

Willingness

Am I really willing to take said course of action or am I just saying that I am?

Does my mind tell that I am willing to engage and follow the way of logic?

But does my behavior as expressed by my actions dictate that the path I follow displays a fundamental unwillingness to change?

“I know it worked for him or her, I’ve seen the proof! how then can I not give it a try when my way clearly isn’t working”

What then is stopping me from being willing?

The answer to this question is Me!!

There’s a Vast difference between Knowing the right path and Walking the right path.

To take Action is the key,

It is a gift unto to which no man or woman can give another,
For it is a deep routed desire or a feeling of absolute conviction that must come from within one’s self

Only you can answer this question if you be Willing to Honestly look at yourself

Thus I ask this question again:

What then is stopping me from being willing?

Could it be Fear?

Fear of the unknown

It could be said that “it is easier to walk the path most familiar, than to venture out into unchartered terrain”

Nothing in Life is can be planned out so absolute as to say the outcome can be determined to 100% degree of accuracy,

For every decision, every course of action inevitably has some element of unknown risk

Willingness to change is to face that risk,

To take a leap of faith and trust in ourselves or others or in a power that lies beyond the realm of what man can perceive

That whatever it is that we are to change will take course and the outcome will be as it is meant to be

So often we are unwilling to do so if the path seem undesirable or too strenuous despite the logic that we may see in doing or taking said course of action.

“Nothing changes, if NOTHING CHANGES

Let go of what is in your mind, and ask only Honesty of thy own Heart

Only you can answer the question

Am I willing?

If the answer be Yes,

Have the courage to take that inevitable leap of Faith in taking the necessary action required

You are where you are meant to be

Right now at this very moment in time, could you consider that this is where you are meant to be?

How often do we say to ourselves:

“I wish I was where he or she was”

“I wish I had his or her life”

“if only I had made this or that decision my life would be different”

“My life shouldn’t have turned out this way”

As human beings we are granted the luxury of free will and have the ability to make choices both good and bad that will have a direct impact on the paths we go on to take on our journey through life.

Granted that the choices life presents you with may be determined by the environment in which you were born into.

But do you have the courage, determination and belief within yourself to tempt ‘would be fate’ and take the necessary action to change your stars and forge a new destiny for yourself?

A destiny different from that from which you were born into?

Or are you consoled to let the once hopeful dreams of a child fade away and die, remaining but flittering thoughts of an innocent soul who’s perception of the world was once full of hope?

Every decision we make has repercussions both good and bad,

But could you conceive that every decision that you have made up until this very moment was the right one for you?

It is my belief that life is a journey and to have become the man I am today I couldn’t have walked any other path.

I used to say to myself:

If I would have finished university, my life wouldn’t have turned out this way….

If that had been my path then I wouldnt have been able to spend time with my mum during the final year of her life, precious moments more valuable than any degree or possible ‘perfect job’ in the present could make up for.

I’m tired of earning low wages, I deserve more money….

Did I really? I’ve earned more money in the past, but my ability to take responsibility and manage my finances has only come to me recently.

Having more money when I thought I deserved it would never had lead to me being able to be grateful for what little I’ve earned and be able to reach a level of maturity to be able to handle all the financial responsibility that comes with being an adult. An inevitability to which I have avoided until now and I’m nearly twenty-six years old.

Whatever trials we face in our life both good and bad lead us to the inevitable point where in that seemingly meaningless moment, we have to make a decision and be able live with the consequences

But take comfort in the fact that no one among us is Perfect

To be able to identify honestly where you were wrong and be able to learn from those mistakes made shows strength in your character and demonstrates that you are growing as a person.

Some of life’s lessons can only be learned through experiencing them first hand.

It’s the lessons from these moments that we carry forward with us and help to forge our character.

Would you really be who you are today had you not lived through every seconds and every moment up until this very point in time?

,You are where you are meant to be

Right now, here in this very moment as you read these words from the page and take each breath in and out.

Treasure every precious moment you have in this Life,

Truly live in the present to be able to experience the beauty in the essence of life in the world all around you.

You can’t change your past but you can learn from each and every experiences and be able to make the necessary changes that will carry you forward into the future.

Whatever your age, where ever you are right now, your story is still yet to be told….

I wish you all the best on your journey

,One day

,One hour,

,One second,

,One moment at a time 🙂 x

Am I Standing Still or Am I Moving Backwards?

It’s a simple enough question, but what does it really mean?

In life we perceive that we are always in a state of perpetual motion, going about our daily lives as we not only do what is necessary to survive but that which brings us some measure of joy.

I’m not talking about standing still in the sense of one who stands still to best perceive the beauty in the wonders all around us, be that the small acts of kindness that go unnoticed or the essence of nature which is in a constant state of change

I’m talking about standing still in the sense of:

Where am I going in life? What is my ultimate aim? What is it that is driving me and where is it taking me?

Be you of a spiritual nature not necessarily defined by any particular religious faith, are you true to your beliefs? Do you have the faith in the power guiding you to walk the path that has been laid at your feet?

Or by your own judgement have you become stagnate and long since lost that faith or drive that you once had?

The key factor in the above question is in the ACTIONS that you take each day

“I’m unhappy with my job….”

What have you done to look for a new job? Have you updated or EVEN created a CV and applied anywhere new?

“I want to get fit…”

Do you actually exercise or just talk about it? Have you sought out advice on how to best start or have you done the usual and joined a gym, gone for about a week and given up as the results were not instantaneous, or the effort required was more than you expected?

“I don’t want to be on my own anymore…”

What are you doing to meet someone new? Are you trying different activities where you may meet someone with commons interests? Are you open to those around you who may care for you that way as often we look so hard for that we seek that we miss whats right in front of our eyes (not to say that you should try chat up all of your close female or male friends), but do I put myself out there and talk to women or men or do I wait for them to approach me?

I’ve just given a few examples but the list could be endless.

When we make a decision to change or to take on a new endeavor, at it’s foundation we have some measure if faith or drive that will be needed to accomplish that task

But somewhere along the line that faith or drive waivers and we perceive that we are standing still when really we are going Backwards.

We all need time to figure out our path in this life as the road ahead is bumpy and winding our sense of direction is not always clear. But be careful not to take too long deciding your inevitable fate for you will see life pass you by, and the road you will need to walk to get back to where you once were will be much greater.

The word ‘Trudge’ is one I have come to love for it means ‘to walk with purpose’

Trudge forward each day, be your steps big or small and hope you move closer and closer to your happy destiny 🙂 Xx

Amends

To Make Amends,

What does that really mean?

Isn’t sorry enough?

To make an amends is completely different from saying that you are sorry, for an amends is not so simple as to say a few sweet words of apology to make up for your misdeeds it goes further than that and shows true strength in you acknowledging the nature of the harm that you have caused.

Before you make an amends and approach the injured party, pause for a moment….

Look for the truth in the behaviour that you have just displayed, be it a lie that you told or some other action that caused harm to another

In looking at the truth in your behaviour, you can see what caused you to act in this way… Was it a fear of the unknown that caused you to lie? Is it that you did not realise that your behaviour was not the normal accepted response?

We are all creatures of habit and unless we see our behaviour as objectionable then we are unlikely to change and we will soon be back at this same point as we are most definitely due to repeat this same course of action.

Put yourself in the other persons shoes

How would I have felt if this had been done to me?

What areas of their life were affected by my actions?

Did me not turning up for work that day cost my employer money and a colleague their day off to cover for me?

Did my failure to pay my sister the money when I said I would leave her financially hard up and have to borrow money from a third party?

Putting yourself in the shoes of the person that you caused harm will enable you to acknowledge your behaviour honestly, not just in your mind but feel it in your heart.

You will know then why it is that you need to make the amends or repair that which has been broken, which in most cases is usually the trust of the other person.

Be honest about the harm you have caused, ALL OF IT, even that which the other person may not be aware of….

To be truly free and “walk in the sunlight of the spirit”, we have to shine a light on the darkness within each of us that would not would not wish others to see…

When you have have finished speaking with the other person ask them this question

Is there anything that I can do to make an amends to you?

It’s a hard thing to do, and you may not like what you are asked to do but show courage in your conviction and follow through on yours words with the necessary action.

Try it, before you begin to say sorry try putting yourself in the other persons shoes and fully acknowledging why it is that you are apologising…

Then ask them the question and follow through with the necessary action

Next you ‘may’ wish to make amends to those who you have caused harm to but perceive that they have wronged you in some way but that’s a though for another day

Good luck to you and I hope you find the freedom in the truth that you seek 🙂 x