Archive for April, 2014


i dont mind

I don’t mind
But then again I do

Why did I just say that to you?

 

Was it my fear of letting you down and by some weird logic me as well?
I can’t tell
The words just came out

 

I don’t mind
Here I go again

What is stopping me from telling you the truth?

The truth..

Truth is that I do not know how I feel
Is this real? Is this Real?

 

Is this just me wanting you to like me
Not to judge me, not to see me
Not to hate me or be me

Why do I care so much?
I’ve grown out of touch

 

You’re no longer there, it’s just me

But still I stand and stare

 

What was the question again?

 

It feels like hours have past
I hope that this feeling won’t last

Then I hear a voice say “Are you alright?”

 

I don’t think I answered

Not a word was said
If just gone silent and it was all in my head

 

“Well then will you?”
The voice asked again

This time I said…

 

“No”

Breaking the Pattern

breaking the pattern photo

Breaking the Pattern

It’s funny when I first met you I couldn’t stand you,

In fact come to think,
You made me sick…

Yet good all at the same time,

 

I think I was nine or maybe I was ten;
It’s been so long now I’m not sure when

 

Initially we would have to sneak around,

Down the back of an ally, bushes or trees,

Out of the house quietly,

Making sure my folks didn’t see,

 

Other people just wouldn’t understand
Why I had to be near you and hold you in my hand,

The tut’s the looks, the glaring stares,

But we didn’t care it was just me and you there,

 

We meet twice a week, then soon everyday ,

What can I say,

I needed you,

Which to others seemed absurd,

I heard all the lectures but ignored every word,

 

We used to be able to sit at tables and bars,

Dance the night away and then under the stars,

When I was with you I was confident and funny

Although at times we couldn’t meet due to lack of money

 

But I never stopped thinking of you,

No matter how hard I tried,

It was like a part of you was always with me on the inside

 

Wanting
Raging
Strangely craving

 

Till he moment we’d meet again and I’d never want it to end,

 

But I’m sad to say I’ve met another…

She’s about to be a mother

And it’s one or the other…

 

I’ve been with you as long as I can remember,

 

But that child in her belly is to be a new part of Me

A member of My Family,

And it’s a life I want to see,

 

Which saddens me to say… That just leaves no room for you and me

Although I may miss you, relapse when drunk and try to kiss you

 

It can never be what we had

I don’t want to see my child lose his father,

The same way I lost my Dad….