Archive for December, 2012


Have you ever considered how much of what you display is an act and how much of it is the real you?

All of us play roles at some point in our lives, but where does the role stop and the real person inside begin.

Take meeting a perspective partner for the first time.

On that first instance, the first approach there is an element of acting involved.

 

It’s the age old dance that men and women play whatever your preference may be.

Like an interview you only get one chance to sell yourself and make a good first impression, to your perspective other.

I may be quiet, timid and insecure but on that first approach, those are the less favourable qualities of my character that I do not display.

The man you meet could maybe be seen as an exaggeration of my better qualities, but to some degree that is not the real me only the light side of the coin.

 

In my working life I play a different role.

Training and experience has enabled me to be able to handle certain situations that would cause many to fail.

This however is not so much an act but could be considered to be such if the confidence that I display in a familiar situation of which I’ve learned responses; is not the behaviour that I display in my everyday life.

Therein could be the problem that you may face and ask yourself, where does the actor or actress in me that has learned what the necessary response may be finish and where does the variety of my true nature and character begin?

 

I think to some degree I’ve always been an actor, able to assess situations and formulate the appropriate response to whatever life may throw at me.

The problem starts when you are unable to take off the multitude of masks and costumes that you may wear.

Worker, Husband, Wife, Father, Mother, Son, Daughter, CEO, Boss

All of these roles are the building blocks of your character, the person you portray, but are they really you deep down inside?

Being true to one’s self may often mean sacrificing parts of one’s self and compromising on certain beliefs…

“I was a career oriented woman or man until we had our first child”

Things that once drove you to strive to achieve are no longer the focal points of your life,

“I used to work late nights but it means more to me now to tuck my son or daughter in, than to spend that extra hour at the office”

 

As a parent you make sacrifices every day, for those you love as you put their needs ahead of your own.

This is not the actions of an actor, but the actions of the Love you poses.

We all play different roles in life,

 

Different circumstances may cause us to change our outer shell,

But for me it is most important to stay true to who we are.

 

To let someone completely in and see the true you, is the greatest expression of honesty,

My joys and successes,

My fears and my woes,

 

To be an actor bares no shame, sometimes we all need to take on certain roles,

But to deny one’s self fully, is a greater sin,

 

The true self is always changing,

I am no more the man I was yesterday,

As today had changed me into something else

But at my core,

I know who I am,

As you know who you are.

Actor/self

True/False

Only you can decide

🙂 Xx

 

Redemption,

To make up for the mistakes of one’s past,

To be redeemed in the eyes of one fellows,

To prove that you have truly changed your ways,

We all live with the scars of past mistakes,

Every choice and decision has made me into the person I am today,

I would not be as so arrogant to say that I have lived a perfect life,

Or that the angel I can sometimes portray to the outside world would be an accurate account of my true nature,

The first step towards redemption is to take responsibility for ones actions,

The second step is to live with the consequences of those decisions and realise that although you may wish to atone and mend your ways,

For some the moment when you may be ready to atone and face your demons, may not be a time when they wish to forgive.

Trust once so freely given when lost, can be a hard thing to earn once more

But there comes a point where you have to let go,

Not forget!

But Let Go,

You can only offer so many apologise,

Do so many good deeds, which in the grand scheme of things lead you to believe that you’re truly changing and atoning for your past,

But if the person or persons whom which you wish to atone, are unable to see past the darkness of the person you once were,

Then it may be that all you can do is walk away….

At least for now,

No person however far you may feel you have fallen is not worth saving,

Most days hope can be your ally, in the darkest moments of your life,

That urge never to give up and un-explainable faith that things will get better,

To walk away is not to admit defeat or to shirk one’s responsibilities,

Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing,

For to take further action would only cause more harm,

You may be at peace with your past,

But some scars run deep and leave marks no words so sweetly spoken could ever hope to heal.

I’m at peace with my past,

Though those around me may be unwilling to let go,

For me all that is left it to look towards my future,

Whether you be in my life or not,

I have admitted my faults and taken action towards setting things right,

The rest is up to you,

I tire of fighting to prove that I have changed and taking the brunt of past anger,

It is not by choice that I have walked away from parts of my life,

But to realise the there is little else I can do and that to stay would cause more harm than good,

Change does not come easy,

It is not a simple victory that can be won by a few good deeds or uttering but some simple words of apology,

All I can do is pray that I am truly a different man,

From whom I used to be,

And that those I love will come to see this in their own time…

I do this not only for you but for me also,

Redemption sought for the sake of another,

To solely regain one’s favour is not a truth in itself.

Regardless of what you may think of me,

I am who I am that’s all I can be,

And I pray one day you will finally see,

The lost and angry man you used to know,

Is not the true me… Xx